Make a personal connection with peers you trust.
— Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis
This issue’s great advice comes from Derric Johnson, a mentor of mine who has a great way of expressing down-to-earth wisdom with real practical benefit. Early in my career he advised me to BUILD SOME FRIENDSHIPS WITH OTHERS IN YOUR INDUSTRY AT YOUR SAME LEVEL—PEOPLE YOU TRUST—PEOPLE YOU CAN GO TO FOR ADVICE, ENCOURAGEMENT, SUPPORT, AND FEEDBACK.
I followed his advice, of course (and am STILL following it, by the way) and found the value of having trusted colleagues I could go to for practical, professional, and emotional support. Sometimes, I would draw from this priceless well for advice to deal with a difficult challenge. Other times, I would gain valuable feedback on my ideas, strategies, and personal growth issues. And many times I would just need an understanding shoulder to cry on—an opportunity to “vent” a little and get some therapeutic relief for particularly annoying realities!
If you do a little research into the Johari Window, you will find a nice explanation for the role of trusted, honest “observers” who can help us see our blind spots and provide the support and feedback we need to address difficult personal growth issues. We all benefit from that external point of view in our lives! It’s even more helpful when they can relate to the unique challenges we face in the workplace.
The JoHari Window
It’s mutual—there’s real reciprocity at work!
What surprised me about this important relationship was its inherent mutuality—I found myself on the giving end of the experience as often as the receiving end. I discovered that I could help the other person in the same ways that they were able to help me!
Can spouses help us with our work-related issues? Of course! But it’s different, isn’t it? They usually aren’t familiar with the industry-specific challenges we face—the details of our work that give shape to our daily frustrations.
It wasn’t until I did some research on mentoring that I found a name for this kind of relationship. I ran across it in the writings of Robert Clinton, who described this person as a “peer co-mentor.” The title captured perfectly the level and mutuality of this helpful relationship.
The higher you rise, the more isolated you become!
Why is this important? Most leaders become increasingly isolated as they rise in the organization. The CEO in the ivory tower is a cliché for a reason—it happens more often than not. It’s one of the reasons good decision-making becomes more difficult at higher levels in organizations—because authority and responsibility in the C levels tend to dampen opposing opinions and ideas. Senior executives especially need honest and insightful sounding-boards to help them process strategic decisions and spot debilitating personal weaknesses. Peers are often more able to fulfill this need than subordinates.
— Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis
It’s also why executive coaches can be so helpful! I have found that confidential sessions with a professional coach create a climate of openness and vulnerability that often help cautious (and closed) executives communicate more honestly and receive constructive criticism more readily.
If you need help addressing some issues that are preventing your continued success and promotion (especially if those issues have been presented to you during a critical performance review), we can help! Call today and find out how executive coaching can work for you or for one of your key subordinates who needs help!
And by the way…You, too, can profit from Derric Johnson’s valuable resources and creative thinking! Visit and explore his website at the following address: www.DerricJohnson.com
Until next time… Yours for better leaders and better organizations,
Dr. Jim Dyke – “The Boss Doctor” ™ helping you to BE a better boss and to HAVE a better boss!
